I haven't written in a while. After the "break-up" last year (2008), I only wrote a couple of poems, and they were so depressing that I figured if I couldn't write about anything else, then I just wouldn't write at all. Some things have changed, yet some are still the same. It's been a year and one month since he left me last Thanksgiving, but Christmas passed just yesterday, and I'm still feeling the pain. Why? I have every reason to have fully moved on and to have healed, but I cannot figure out why I still care at all. I knew it was a bad idea, but before I could fully stop myself, I found myself browsing for his online profile. Found it, and broke down in tears. What the fuck is wrong with me? I should bot be feeling any of this shit! I've moved on physically, of course, and I don't really think of him but every once in a blue moon. I'm trying to sort out what it is that I'm really going through, because I know deep inside my heart that it's really not about him. It's really about ME. I know it's because I'm not finding what I keep looking and hoping for. I know it's because no matter how much I feel things are looking up, that I'm always brought back down on my ass to reality, and the reality is, as it's always been...

I'm alone. And I'm broken.